On a fairly regular basis I get this overwhelming feeling that it's just great to be alive. It occurs out of nowhere and doesn't seem to be related to my overall mood - or anything else for that matter. More often than not it happens when there's nothing particularly 'joyful' happening, for example, it happened this evening as I was getting off the bus and walking to my car. Nothing unusual there, it happens everyday. I haven't had a particularly good day and in fact I wouldn't even rate it as any kind of good. I'm really tired and know that my semester project will be a big ask this week. We have to present it next Tuesday and then documentation is due about a week after that.
It's an absolutely wonderful feeling and I'd love to know how it works so I could pass it around. I think it's about observation and just seeing the simple things around me and realising how lucky I am. Tonight it was about how I go to work every day, usually the same way, and I see the same things and I really know my route quite well. I see some of the same people most days and although I don't talk to them I enjoy the opportunity to observe and think about what their lives might be like.
But that's not quite it. I just can't seem to pin it down - the feeling that is, and why I get it. Or maybe it's just that I can't express it very well.
Another example is when I was getting a drink of cordial in the kitchen recently and I offered to get Hannah a drink while I was there. Again, nothing special about the situation or my mood but it just felt great that I was getting a drink from my kitchen. It was kind of like "wow, I'm living, independent, surrounded by great people and I by gosh, I can get a drink....WHEN EVER I LIKE!"
I guess this is making me sound a little crazy so I'll stop now, but that's how it is.